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Samuel Beckett (old): Do you remember, years ago, a student asked you about life? And you said "Dance first. Think later". | Do you remember years ago a student asked you about life And you said Dance...

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Tara: I didn't even get a tattoo or anything on this holiday.
Skye: You were busy. | I didn't even get a tattoo or anything on this holiday You were busy

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Skye: Best holiday ever. | Best holiday ever

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Tara: [on her encounter with Paddy] I was... like asleep so...
Em: [concerned] Are you saying...? What Taz, he was like that with you on both nights?
Tara: [begins crying in fear] It's fine.
Em: You s...

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Veronica: Bring him to me. I just wanna talk to him. | Bring him to me I just wanna talk to him

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Bill: If you talk about something it's a dream. If you envision it, it's a possibility and if you schedule it, it's a reality. | You know if you talk about something it's a dream If you envision it...

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Willa: Because it's a leap day and it is a magical day and things like that happen. | Because it is Leap Day and it is a magical day and things like that happen

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Anna: Sometimes, being in love is lonelier than being alone. | Sometimes I don't know Sometimes being in love is lonelier than being alone you know

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Maria: We have been having sex every night this week for at least an hour each time.
Amir: Lucky you. Um... well, this will be quicker than that. | We have been having sex every night this week for at...

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Amir: Look, I know you're sad because we've lost Rob and Sally too, but I promise you, next time, we'll... we'll nail it. | Look I know you're sad because we've lost Rob and Sally too but I promise...

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Paul Hunham: [pointing at his right eye] It's this one. This is the one you should look at. | It's this one This is the one you should look at

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Paul Hunham: I don't doubt he did something to offend you. It's his specialty. Now perhaps I can purchase something for you gentlemen to imbibe and we can let whatever this unfortunate incident is go...

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Paul Hunham: This is not exactly a face forged for romance. | This is not exactly a face forged for romance Mary

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Angus Tully: Danny, where do you stand on indoor fireworks?
Danny: About as far away as I can. | Danny where do you stand on indoor fireworks About as far away as I can

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Ye-Joon Park: I have no friends.
Angus Tully: Yeah, well, friends are overrated. | and I have no friends Yeah well friends are overrated

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Pharmacist: Asshole... | Assholes

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Maybel: Look at that: the mistletoe. Well, it's tradition.
Addie: Oh...
Maybel: It's bad luck not to kiss under the mistletoe.
James: Mom...
Maybel: Just for me. Go ahead. | Uh oh Look at that The mis...

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[last lines]
James: You know, when we saw that shooting star, I wasn't wishing for a Christmas dinner.
Addie: Me neither. And my wish just came true. | You know when we saw that shooting star I wasn't...

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Maybel: Now that's a nice girl.
James: That she is. Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, Mom.
Maybel: I have no idea what you're talking about. | sighs Now that's a nice girl That she is...

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James: From what I've heard, Duke doesn't really sound...
Addie: Luc.
James: Luc doesn't really sound like your type.
Addie: Well, I was surprised Victoria was your type.
James: Violet. And touche. | ...

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Frodo Baggins: [having seen a shadowy figure at the bottom of the stairs in Moria] There's something down there.
Gandalf: It's Gollum.
Frodo Baggins: Gollum?
Gandalf: He's been following us for three ...

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Mikhail Suverov: [Tape recording] Only you can access this box. Therefore, one of things has happened. We are together again as we should had been, a family. Or I'm dead and you shouldn't trust...

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Kit Latura: [Notices George on the CCTV] Anybody watching these monitors? | Is anybody watching these monitors

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Laura Kinney: God, Doug, you're driving me crazy! I call the office and you bite my head off. Other times you're as sweet as can be. And then one minute you're obsessing about every little detail. And...

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Laura Kinney: [naked, in bed, afterglow] That was so - unusual. I've never seen you cry like that before.
Doug Kinney #3: No. You know, that one time when the soufflé fell... | That was so unusual I'v...

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Jennifer Kinney: Doodyhead!
Zack Kinney: You're a doodyhead.
Jennifer Kinney: Doodyhead!
Zack Kinney: Doodyhead!
Jennifer Kinney: Doodyhead!
Zack Kinney: Doodyhead!
Doug Kinney: Hey, hey, hey! You're ...

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Noreen: I always assumed you were a happily married guy.
Doug Kinney #2: I've been sleeping in the guest house for a month.
Noreen: Oh, my God. Is it that bad?
Doug Kinney #2: It's pretty bad. She's s...

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Vic: Hey, Doug. Lookin' smug. | Hey Doug Lookin' smug

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Doug Kinney: You're fired. Take your New York watch and your fat L.A. ass - and get out of here. | You're fired Huh You're fired Take your New York watch and your fat L A ass and get out of here

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Dr. Leeds: I can help you.
Doug Kinney: Help me how?
Dr. Leeds: Change your life.
Doug Kinney: What is it that you guys do around here?
Dr. Leeds: We make miracles. | I can help you Help me how Change...

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Laura Kinney: Oh, Doug.
[puts her arms around Doug]
Laura Kinney: Let's get the kids to bed early tonight.
Doug Kinney: What time is it now?
Laura Kinney: Uh, 6:15.
Doug Kinney: Kids, bedtime!
[kisses...

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Laura Kinney: And you trust him?
Doug Kinney: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I trust him. I trust him like I trust myself, really. | And you trust him Oh yeah Yeah I trust him I trust him like I trust myself really

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Dr. Leeds: I make miracles. I create time. I make clones. | I told you I make miracles I create time I make clones

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Doug Kinney: Hey, this is stupid. Look, here's all we need. We just need to get a schedule. We'll be okay.
Laura Kinney: We don't need a schedule. We need a miracle. | Hey this is stupid Look here's a...

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Laura Kinney: You missed Campfire Girls.
Doug Kinney: Honey, I'm not in Campfire Girls. I'm a Brownie. | You missed Campfire Girls Honey I'm not in Campfire Girls I'm a Brownie

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Doug Kinney: Frank! My fax machine's gone psycho again. | Frank My fax machine's gone psycho again

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Doug Kinney: My whole life's an emergency. | My whole My whole life's an emergency

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Doug Kinney: I'm sorry. I totally forgot. My fault. Was she upset?
Laura Kinney: Of course. Every other father was there. Including the divorced ones.
Doug Kinney: What about the lesbian moms?
Laura K...

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Doug Kinney #1: Hey, look, I'm gonna make this up to you. I promise.
Doug Kinney #2: You could start by cloning Laura.
Doug Kinney #1: [sarcastically] Yeah.
Doug Kinney #3: Yeah, you could start by cl...

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Doug Kinney: That wasn't me.
Laura Kinney: That's just the point. You've been acting like a lunatic lately.
Doug Kinney: Listen, I - I just got a little confused about who I was. That's all. All right...

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Laura Kinney: [after making love to Doug #3, after an earlier session with Doug #2] Phew! That was athletic. It's better than the StairMaster.
Doug Kinney #2: Yeah, well, I guess I got a little carrie...

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Laura Kinney: Want some?
[licking chocolate off a spoon]
Doug Kinney #2: Yuuuuup. Yup!
[Doug #2 licks the spoon, Laura kisses him]
Laura Kinney: Mmm. You taste good.
Doug Kinney #2: You taste pretty g...

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Doug Kinney #1: What were you doing in bed with Laura?
Doug Kinney #2: What?
Doug Kinney #3: Nothing. Doug. We were watching TV. And Laura said she was sleepy and wanted to go to bed. So, what was I g...

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Laura Kinney: I feel like I don't know you anymore. And it scares me, Doug. You know, you go along, day after day, and you tell yourself that your problems aren't serious. They're normal. You know,...

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Doug Kinney #1: I don't believe this. I leave you guys alone for one day. One day! And you totally destroy my life.
Doug Kinney #2: We didn't destroy your life, slick. You did. | I don't believe this ...

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Doug Kinney #3: [in the kitchen, #3 takes over from Laura, obsessing over how to wrap up leftover meatloaf] Honey, may I do that? Do you mind?
Laura Kinney: This?
Doug Kinney #3: Yeah. I just wanna sh...

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Doug Kinney: Hon, let's sail to Catalina.
Laura Kinney: What?
Doug Kinney: Come on, it'll be great. We'll sail right into the harbor at sunset. We'll bring some wine, we'll make love right on the boat...

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[Doug's rule for his clones]
Doug Kinney: Listen to me. This is the number one rule. Okay? This is unbreakable. You can't even try to bend this rule, all right? Nobody. *Nobody* has sex with my wife b...

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Ted: We'll have to put in more hours. This isn't just a nine-to-five job. There is a saying where I worked last. "If you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday." | I think we're...

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Doug Kinney #1: No clone nookie.
Doug Kinney #3: You're the man, Doug.
Doug Kinney #2: Great idea.
Doug Kinney #1: Original nookie only! | Nobody No clone nookie You're the man Doug Great idea Origina...

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Richard Feynman: Mathematics is a language. It's very difficult. It's subtle. You couldn't say those things any other way - and I can talk to dead people with it. I talk to Copernicus every day. |...

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Mel Feynman: Richie, how old are you?
Young Richard: Six.
Mel Feynman: Well, act your age. | Richie how old are you Six Well act your age

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Sandy Ricks: [Angrily takes Sandy's Flipper show money] Hey!
Uncle Porter: [With a cigar on his mouth] House cut. | House's cut

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Uncle Porter: [after a shower] Hey Sandy, do I look cool or what?
Sandy Ricks: Or what?
Uncle Porter: It's a shirt. It was given to me personally by Brian Wilson himself.
Sandy Ricks: Who?
Uncle Porte...

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Sandy Ricks: [On the phone] Just pick me up tomorrow night. We'll be at the concert. I gotta jet. Here comes the hippie.
[Hangs up]
Uncle Porter: [Gives Sandy a new shirt after getting sick on the boa...

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Uncle Porter: [Before burning the bread with blowtorch] You can't exactly order up a pizza. | you can't exactly order up a pizza

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Sandy Ricks: How much did she pay you to take me off her hands?
Uncle Porter: I resent that, Sandy. When your mother called, I didn't hesitate. Family's very important. You guys are all I've got.
Sand...

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Sandy Ricks: [Sees Porter's boxes full of SpaghettiOs cans] You like SpaghettiOs much? | Like Spaghetti Os much

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Chris: I've been going over our situation. Now if I can get on full-time at Centaur and assuming you max out all your overtime at Uniworld and I still keep working in my spare time for Stu's uncle and...

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Rat: [Noticing the clip is missing on the alarm switch of the Avionics hatch] Where the hell is the clip? Did you put the clip in?
Baker: It was there.
Rat: You're on my shitlist, Baker! | Where the h...

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Cahill: We have to negotiate. We have to tell Hassan the Pentagon knows his plan and that he'll never be allowed to reach US airspace.
David Grant: Cahill, calm down!
Cahill: No, I'm fine. I know what...

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David Grant: There is no negotiating with Nagi Hassan, you understand? If he knew we were down here right now, he'd just kill us all! | There is no negotiating with Nagi Hassan You Understand If he...

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Doctor Evans: She certainly has a sweet lookin' little body on her, but you oughtta stick to fuckin' grownups, dumbass. | She certainly has a sweet looking body on her but you ought to stick to...

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Joseph Svenden: What can I say. I'm a bad man. But sometimes it's great fun to be bad.
Joseph's Mother: You're not a bad man. If that made men bad, we'd all be lost. | What can I say I'm a bad man But...

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[On being a spurned middle aged lover]
Rosalee Henson: I'm not going to get another chance. | I'm not going to get another chance

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Corky: For me, stealing's always been a lot like sex. Two people who want the same thing: they get in a room, they talk about it. They start to plan. It's kind of like flirting. It's kind of like......

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Dr. Abby Barnes: If you were trapped in Biosphere 2 for three years, who would you bring: Time Magazine's Woman of the Year or Playboy's Playmate of the Year? | lf you were stranded in the Arizona...

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Cosmetics Saleslady: We also have this new face cream which neutralizes the free radicals that attack the skin. Let me ask you: what's your skin regime?
Dr. Abby Barnes: My regime? The regime from whi...

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Abby: We can love our pets, we just can't LOVE our pets. | You can love your pets but just don't love your pets